Keep on Moving...

In the recent weeks I have not had a choice but to work through things in an primal organic way. Like a survival for my mental wellbeing to stay comfortable in this state of ‘unknown’ feelings of anxiety, tiredness, prioritising, thinking and feeling my way as if on my hands and knees blind searching for my glasses. Well I think I have found them. Hence me blogging! finding my voice again to say something. Weirdly this actually juxtaposes with real life as I am getting new glasses! I have moved house and I realise looking back that I did not absorb the stress of the build up with enormity of moving my family etc …instead I immersed myself into Module 1 in my MA. I thought seeing as I had had a long period of numbness in my mind that the emphasis had to be on and in my mind. In module 1 the focused on reflection and getting my mind to dissect my practice, my life, my motivations and philosophies seemed to sit comfortably with me. However observing and discussing ideas on embodiment and the whole course embedded with mind and body connectivity I realise I have to face the next phase of ‘me’ and not forget my body it cannot be left behind. Sometimes when teaching one spends so much time looking and thinking about the bodies displayed in front of us we forget our own. Well I do. So the physicality of Bikram yoga in half term really has addressed the wakeup call my body and mind needed. Lying in Savasana staring at the ceiling I began to piece my thinking of the last few weeks together. I realised I was connecting with my body again. It then got me to think about times when I have felt a loss of that connection and or shock at the enormity of experiences of life like ‘writer’s block’ to dance. A similar pattern emerged at times of grief, loss, change all have all taken a toll on my body and mind connection and dance has always brought me back. I have always been interested in people and the journey of life and also considering death too, mortality and our time on earth. How we as humans we seek connection with other humans, why we choose the paths we take, who we share our lives with and how time can change us. Over the last day; my questions and ideas have led me closer I hope to…linking together my thoughts and reading over the last few weeks and ultimately my research! Recent events seem to be calming and I am absorbing them as life experiences as part of the journey. As we are all finding out juggling work with study. Art mirrors life or art is life? Many dancers use their own deepest life experiences to fuel their most prominent work. When watching Martha Graham’s piece “Lamentation” it struck me how it depicts grief so clearly and uncomfortably. It speaks a language directly to anyone who has suffered the loss of your own flesh and blood. It is a powerful, visual expression of sorrow. Martha in interview speaks of an audience member that approached her afterwards and thanked her as she had lost a son and had up until that performance not been able to cry. It has done its job very well if it creates any emotion in a human. As that is what art is partly there for? It stirred an emotion to promote healing amidst grieving. Why does a person buy a painting? Why do we listen to a certain song at a certain time? For some it is purely an aesthetic thing or even materialistic thing, for others there has to be a story; there has to be meaning or a memory recalled. To understand this connection between dance as art and its power to heal and communicate link people together on an equal plane even as therapy or learning experience is where my interests lie. I am by no means a therapist but I have seen in my classes young and old gain some sort of therapeutic, creative experience that has nurtured their lives and filled them with something of their own, or made them see things in a different way through ‘the dance’. Looking at dance as a form of creative expression for recovery that has psychological, social and communal benefits such as of a Morris dancing group or a ladies tap group for instance. One thing I have seen in the deterioration of my father and his mobility in his final years and that as soon as your mind gives up on the will to move your body to the best of its ability it is a spiral downwards both mentally and physically. So movement and dance has a place for everyone’s mental and physical health. Anna Halprin’s ideas of an awareness of the body and movement (Thank you Adesola) as a healing medium interested me. Firstly I liked her as a person (from what I could see and read) and I seem to be able to connect with her philosophy not so much “parades and changes” where it mainly comprises of disrobing as to me nakedness (the dancers perform naked) is something I am not impressed by or shocked at. True nakedness to me is something I don’t think I am capable of with anyone… or even myself at times. Nakedness in the exposing of fears, lies and secrets. That would be more shocking. The work I really loved was from when Anna worked with Senior citizens for a year, found an Island and used rocking chairs for them to sit in whilst they moved and danced rocking in the sunshine as she said ‘she had never seen such soulful dancing in her life’. Anna Halprin 2005 Anna went through cancer and remission all that have been expressed through her work to me an inspiring and likeable lady. Whilst recently exploring various choreographers work I have seen in myself a definite like of some things and with others on some occasion’s anger and frustration at my lack of connection with it. I stepped back and thought about this. It’s ok to not like something it doesn’t mean it is not valuable to me or anyone else. It also helped me to decipher where my interests lie.